When I was very young, I remember asking my mother’s new partner at the time (later to be husband) if I could call him dad. I remember it well because of how excited I was to have an actual male role model in the house since we moved to The Netherlands when I was 1 year old.
Time was not easy on us, but I never looked back or felt the need to ask questions about my personal history out of loyalty and gratitude to my stepdad. There finally was a man who called me his son for the first time in my life.
Fast forward, and now a troubled teenager randomly finds out his biological father is looking for him in a different country. I had no backstory or idea of how to deal with the situation, and I also never thought of asking where I came from before this happened. The pressure and confusion at that moment were way too much to process for a young boy at that age, looking back as an adult. I unfortunately refused to connect with him for personal reasons, but I always felt there was something missing and I had a lot of questions that my family couldn’t answer.
From that moment on, if anyone would ask me where I was from, I would say that my father (the man who raised me) was from Curacao. If you know me you’ve probably heard me say it.
Gradually, growing up in a different culture was bitter sweet because there were a lot of amazing memories and relationships being created, but there was always this feeling of not completely fitting in. There was also a light sense of shame that I can’t really explain which just wouldn’t go away.
Once the music took off in 2013, it made everything even more challenging because now my private life was not so private anymore and there were people jumping out of the bushes, left and right, with all kinds of motives and stories.
In 2016, I got in contact with my blood cousin from Ghana who lives in Switzerland, that told me my grandmother in Accra passed away and he showed me a picture of a sweet elderly woman that took all my breath. This lady was me, and I was her!! I’m very grateful that I had the chance to help with her burial and found out that she was asking about me and prayed for me every day, ever since I was born.
The urge to find out more about my background increased until I literally heard a clear voice in my ear say, “Go and get your father’s blessing and see what I have prepared for you”. I didn’t know what to expect and how to prepare mentally, but the call was loud and clear, so at the end of last year, I went to Accra..
Without going into the family reunion too much, I do want to say that I’ve never felt at home as much as when I was staring out the car window and saw my beautiful people like I was looking at a dream that only my heart could understand. It was perfect.
We didn’t announce it to the local media or anything because I wanted to reconnect with my family first and take the time to process everything together, which is what we’re still doing.
A lot of people don’t really see the ‘behind the scenes’ journey I’m on right now, but it’s a movie, trust me. I wanted to share this story with thanks and praises to our heavenly Father who keeps filling my cup until it runs over and over. A stone that the builders rejected has become a cornerstone indeed. 🙏